A Message to Genwunners
by Galefire
Summary: Black is tired of people calling his generation unoriginal, throwing rotten fruit at him, insulting his Pokemon, and taking his churros. He's decided to make a stand, not a lemonade stand mind you, a stand for the good of all of us. However, despite his good intentions, will he end up going too far? And what the heck are Chuck Norris and Red fighting about? On Hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**Important note: The term "Genwunner" does not refer to someone who's favorite generation is generation 1, hell that generation was AWESOME! It also doesn't refer to someone who only likes generation 1, because hey, some people grow out of these things. **

**What it means is someone who WARSHIPS it, and constantly bashes all the other ones. I just wanted to clear that up. Also, a lot of this isn't even my opinion. It's just Black being stupid. I really do dislike Genwunners however. **

**Disclaimer: No. **

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Black was having a wonderful day.

Or was it a terrible day? I can't seem to remember... Oh well. All that matters is that he's going to be pelted by a bunch of rotten fruit in about two seconds.

"Wait, wha-" The brown haired trainer was cut off by an old apple hitting him on the face.

This was closely followed by some smelly grapes, ancient oranges and for some reason, a pair of scissors.

Huh. I don't remember that being on the food table.

Black rubbed the rotten juices off of his clothes, looking around desperately for the culprit.

"Alright, who did that?"

"GENSUARION 1 VAS TE ONY GOOD POKEMOONS! DE OTHSURS ARE BBAAADDSS!1!11!" A random human screamed, hurling banana peels at the boy.

Black ducked to avoid the hit.

"Crap!" He exclaimed. "It's a genwunner! The only thing on this planet with a lower IQ then me!"

"What about Magicarps?" Ruby, who was for some reason here, looked up from filing his nails.

"Especially the Magicarps!" Black screamed, running off in a random direction.

"...That doesn't even make sense."

The Genwunner turned his head in the pretty boy's direction.

"GENNERATIIION THEE SUXSS! DA POJEMOON333 D/DNT EVOOLVE ENOGH!?"

Ruby jumped up from his seat, red eyes alive with rage.

"You wanna go, punk?" He asked, reaching for Milotic's Pokèball.

""YOOURR MIILOOTTAC ISS NOOH MATCHS FORE MEE CHARAZARD^#! CHARIDARD FTW!,."

Ruby sweat dropped. "I swear his grammer's getting worse."

** ~*Meanwhile*~**

"And the I said, 'No more pasta! Gummy bears must eat all the cheese covered Milktanks!'" Bianca giggled, nudging the black haired gym leader beside her.

Cheren sighed and looked up from his paperwork. That's nice, Bianca, but I really need to work on this!"

The assistant rolled her eyes. "Lighten up, Austri- I mean, Cheren. Yeah. Cheren."

"Why do you keep doing that?" He asked, giving her a glare.

"Doing what?"

"Calling me Austria. What does that even mean?"

"Oh, nothing." Bianca smiled, hugging her Hetalia DVD's.

Just as Cheren was about to ask about something else, a sudden noise split the air.

"Oww." The air moaned.

Not like that.

"Oops, sorry."

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTTTTTT TTTRRRRRRIIIII- I mean, CCCCCCCHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRR RREEEEEEEEENNNNN!" Black cried, running up to them.

"Churros? Where?!" Bianca looked around ecstatically.

Black stopped in his tracks with a gasp. "You have Churros?!"

"No." Cheren cut in.

"Aww... Why'd you take them all?"

"How selfish of you!" The blonde scolded him.

"What? I didn't eat them!"

"So you wasted them?"

"N-"

The brown haired trainer looked ready to cry. "C-Churro abuse!"

Bianca slapped the Gym leader across the face. "You monster! Think of the children!"

"And the Churro's!"

"Would you guys please, just stop?!" Cheren raised his voice, giving the both of them a dirty look.

"...Spaz..." Black muttered.

Bianca nodded her agreement.

Cheren grit his teeth together. "I am NOT going to let this RUIN my day. Black, what do you want?"

The trainer suddenly remembered what had happened earlier.

"Some random dude started throwing crap at me!" he whined.

"A genwunner?"

"That'd be it."

Cheren went back to his work. "So? Just ignore them."

Black looked stumped. "How do you ignore having rotten fruit thrown at you?"

"They threw-?" The gym leader then seemed to noice the remains of the old food all over his friend. "Oh."

"Are you sure they did it?" Bianca asked.

"No, Bianca. He did it to himself." Cheren grumbled sarcastically.

Black was silent.

"Umm... Right?"

"Do you mean today or last Tuesday?"

"...You know what? No. I'm not doing this. Not today." The black haired trainer told them, getting up from where he was sitting. "Go ask White or something."

"White? But she's a smelly girl!" Black moaned.

"Agreed." Bianca nodded.

"Bianca you're a girl."

"I am?! Holy crap that's awesome!"

Cheren walked away, too scared to say anything more.

"Now whhhhhheeeeeerrrrreeeee's White?" Black asked, looking upset.

"In your house."

"...Why?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" She yelled, attracting the attention of several bystanders.

"THAT'S SO COOL!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

"WE SHOULD LIKE, TOTALLY HANG OUT TOGETHER!"

"THAT'D BE GREAT GIRLFRIEND!"

"Oww..." Capslock moaned.

_**~Buy a burrito! They're comfy and easy to wear!~ **_

"WHITE!" Black slammed the door of his house open, murdering his mother who had been on the other side. "I NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING!"

His mother, who now more resembled a pancake then a woman, sild out from behind the door.

"Oh hi mom!" The trainer greeted as he ran up the stairs. "I hope you have lots of Spaghetti!"

"..."

Once upstairs, Black once again yelled: "WHITE! I NEEEEEED YOU!"

"Oww, geez, quiet down Black." The girl cringed from her spot on the floor. "What do you want?"

"HOW DO WE GET RID OF THE GENWUNNERS?!"

"They bugging you again?" Kyouhei, a random trainer who had never had a haircut in his entire life, asked.

Black pushed him out the window.

"BLACK!" White yelled, looking shocked.

"THAT'S RACIST!" Said trainer accused.

She rolled her eyes. "No, it's your name."

"Oh yeah!"

White muttered a curse under her breath. "So why do you want to get rid of them?"

"THEY THREW ROTTEN FRUIT AT ME!"

"Please..." Capslock begged. "Have mercy..."

No.

"And why... Did they do that?"

Black thought for a moment before answering. "They said our Pokemon are unoriginal!"

White snorted. "Who cares? All they had were fire breathing dragons, giant piles of crap and a bird holding a stick. We've got Volcanic moths, strange Egyptian birds, and... Well, a better fire-breathing dragon. And a lightning breathing one too."

The other trainer took a second to process the information, before breaking out into a manical smile.

"Umm... You alright?" White asked, waving her hands in front of his face.

Black only giggled creepily. "That's a perfect idea Red..."

"Uh, my name's White."

"I am aware of this."

The girl looked at him oddly.

He pointed to the corner of the room, where for whatever reason, Red stood. He waved to them with a smile.

"AHH! WHAT THE CRAP RED!" White yelled, jumping at least ten feet in the air. "HOW DID HE EVEN GET IN HERE?!"

"You see my plan is to take all the cheese in the world, and throw it at the Genwunners!" Black informed her.

"Okay, first of all that's not what I asked. And second, what the hell is that even going to accomplish?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Everything."

"EVERYTHING!"

"Everything?" Red asked.

"Get out of my room!"


	2. Chapter 1 and a half: In Which Stuff

**OMG** **HAI. **

**Disclaimer: I slept with your- Oh wait no, sorry. I don't own this crap. **

**000000000000000000000000000**

Mama, a well known Genwunner and a former member of the 'I love sausage patties' society, woke up in the middle of a dark room, grumbling. A dizzying sea of darkness surrounded him, blocking everything from view. The Genwunner rubbed her (or his!) eyes, blinking in confusion.

Last he remembered, he had been trolling the ever loving crap out of some random forums, and now he (or she!) was stuck in some random dark room.

The fuck?

It shook it's head. Like most thing's in his life, suck as traffic cones and paper towels, this didn't make any sense.

Suddenly, a set off odd, tapping footsteps rang out loudly across the dark, empty room, echoing. There was a strang break in the sound, problably the cause of the mysterious person, or perhaps even thing, stumbling, before it finally fell at ease, right in front of Mama.

"Greetings, Papa." Black grinned, a random stage-light shining down upon him. "I'm so glad you could make it. Not that you had an option, of course."

"Actually, that's Mama." Ruby informed him from one side of the room. "I killed Papa."

"Aww, why'd you do that?" Black sounded upset.

"He made fun of my Milotic, what did you expect?"

White, who was standing by the door, spoke up. "That's not some kind of creepy innuendo, is it?"

"..."

"..."

"White?"

"Yes?"

"Please leave."

"Anyways," Black went on, turning back to the Genwunner. "I'm here to prove to you that Generation one sucks more then my mom on a-"

"Stop. Now." Ruby warned.

"GEHUURASGON VUN HUS AWSHOM! YOUG VERENT DARE TO EXPEERENCE IT!" Mama screamed, jumping to his (her?) feet.

Around him, all the other Genwunners, which were apparently there, did the same.

White exchanged a glance with Ruby.

"What the hell are they saying?" She asked.

He shrugged. "Something about gardens?"

"YOUU VOULDNTT GUnDr/Andfyt;::fF;4(;;d((f;;;~!" The genwunner's screamed.

Black stomped his feet in anger, giving the losers a collective mental spanking.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL YELLING?!" He yelled. "I HATE YELLING! YELLING HURTS MY EARS! GOD DAMNIT, WHY DO INSIST ON YELLING SO MUCH?! IT'S SOOO DISRESPECTFUL!"

The pretty boy winced. "Can you please stop saying that?!"

"SAYING WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR, SOMEONE KEEPS YELLING!"

"I wonder who that would be." White muttered sarcastically.

"Yelling. The word yelling. Stop saying it!"

"YELLING?"

"Yes! That!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING THEN?!"

"Holy fu-"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Someone yelled from the back of the room.

"Germany?" Everbody exclaimed at once, with the exception of the Genwunners, who only made some unintelligible noises.

"Uh, no. It's me, Blue." The guy pointed to himself, looking confused.

The Genwunners had a collective gasp. Several started crawling towards him, drooling like crazy. Blue's eyes grew wide as they grabbed onto his arm, licking it with exitment.

"What... Exactly... Are they doing?"

"You're Blue." White reminded him. "Or Green, I'm not sure. But anyways, you're almost half as cool as Red, and that's saying something. Or at least in the eyes of these losers."

"Hey! What do you mean 'half as cool'?"

"I said almost."

"Anyways," Black said forcefully, ignoring his prisoners strange behavior. "I'm going to show you the exact reasons why your generation simply isn't as good as you make it out to be!"

White groaned. "Black, please don't."

He ignored her. "Alright men, and Ruby, follow my orders! White, you guard the door. Red Link?"

"Yes sir!" A little boy wearing a red tunic answered joyfully.

Everyone in the room stared at him oddly.

"Ewww... Crossovers." Ruby shuddered.

Blue glanced at the blond kid. "Crossdressers?"

"That's not at all what I said!"

"Whatever you do, don't salute me. Ever." Black finished.

"Yes sir!" Red (Link) said again, saluting his master.

...

The boy was curled up in the emo corner, sobbing.

"I've failed you..."

Black didn't seem to care. "Blue, you keep doing what you're doing-"

"I'd rather not..."

"-And Ruby, keep filing your nails, 'cause sweet Arceus those look gorgeous!"

"Why thank you. I added sparkles for added effect."

There was a pause.

"Well alright then." Black's expression suddenly turned evil, a manical grin planted underneath two disturbling small pupils.

Spinning around, he faced the Genwunners, giving them his best rape face.

The Genwunners all exchanged confused expressions, muttering incantatios nonsense as Black walked towards a large presentation board, it's content hidden behind a large black sheet. Mama turned to his (or her) army, sneering.

"HEZ ISZ B3INGG DOUCHY!1!?' W33 SHAA11 KEELL HIEM!"

Black raised a finger, shaking it disapprovingly left to right, tutting in what seemed to be disappointment.

"Really? I expected better from you, being such a 'high class' Genwunner. Anyone else of your sort would realise at you are all tied to your chairs."

White looked up from her spot at the door, blinking and shaking her head in astonishment.

"Black... I can't believe I'm saying this, but... You're scaring me!"

A shadow cast itself across his face as he gave White a sly grin, chuckling softly as the Genwunner's made odd gasps of surprise in realization that what he said was in fact, the truth.

"Struggle all you want, pathetic earthlings, because when I'm done with you, there'll be nothing left for you to struggle with!"

"Is that a Star Wars quote?" Ruby questioned, looking up from his sewing project.

Everyone starred at him.

After a few moments, Blue broke away, looking up at the master of the room.

"Uh, Black. How the hell did you manage to tie them all up? They were just-" He shuddered, "L-licking me..."

Black pointing an accusing finger that one who had dared speak, trembling with rage. He narrowed his eyes, growling. No one questioned him.

No one.

"YOUR OPINION DOES NOT MATTER TO ME!"

"That wasn't an-"

"SHUT UP BEFORE I STUFF YOU WITH MAGGOTS!"

The three other Dexholders exchanged terrified glances, the same thought running through all their minds. This really, really was starting to get to Black.

And that wasn't exactly a good thing.

"U ME3N CATERPEE'S111!'" Tihs, another Gen one noob spoke up, eyes rolling into the back of his empty head.

The brown haired trainer curled a fist, slowly turning his head to meet eyes with him. He twitched a little.

"I WILL CUT OFF YOU WEINER AND FEED IT TO THE SEAGULLS, IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Ruby frowned. "You mean W-" Blue quickly covered his mouth with his hand, causing the Pretty boy to scream some muffled incantation about "dirty hands!"

Tihs shrank back in his seat, shivering. Warm, salty sweat ran rivers down his pale complexion as brown eyes starred him down, unwavering. Heart in mouth and throat tight, he quickly nodded, not daring to take a breath.

Black smirked. "Good. Now," He stepped away from the genwunner walking over to the board thingy he had set up. Once he took his glance away from Tihs, the noob started to take long, deep breaths, cherishing the air as it flowed into his lungs. Black slowly reached up to the dark sheet that hid the contents of what he had prepared, an evil expression set upon his face. "This is what I am going to show you today!" He finished, throwing the curtain like material off the board.

As it fell to the ground, the other people who were sharing the room leaned in to get a glance, before leaning back again, murmuring in confusion.

"IZZHE TROLLLLING UZZ?!21" One known as Kcuf, growled, looking around angrily at his fellow Genwunners.

His friend, Dratsab, frowned, blinking as if to clear his eyes. "EYE TH1NKZ U R RIGHT. U WERS DO SMARHVT!/2(!3"

The crowd continued to murmur, not to the knowledge of Black, however, who merely stood, smiling proudly, oblivious to it all.

"I don't get it," White finally spoke up, her back pressed firmly against the closed wooden door, looking lost.

Black sighed wistfully, tapping his finger repeatedly on the picture of a Muk he had displayed. "Did I say I was done?"

"Well..."

"Exactly!"

"You didn't let me-"

"You see, all Genwunners arguments about later generations usually center around one thing," He looking around the room for a volunteer.

"Later... Generations?" Ruby offered, finally having managed to pry Blue's filthy, disgusting, rat's nest of a hand off of his beautiful face.

Blue glared at the author. "Excuse me?"

Black gave Ruby a long, disapproving look, before finally mustering, "I'm going to hurt you."

The pretty boy quickly covered his head with his arms, backing up. "Not the face!"

White raised an eyebrow.

Black finally lost what little he had left. "THE POKEMON!" He screamed, jabbing the picture with his pointer finger. "GENWUNNERS ALWAYS WHINE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW 'UNORIGINAL' AND 'STUPID LOOKING' OUR POKEMON ARE, WHEN THERE GENERATION SUFFERS FROM THE SAME THING! LOOK AT THIS!" Fuming, he tore the image off the board and held it up to show everyone. "WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TO YOU?!" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "A PILE OF CRAP! THAT'S ALL IT IS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO NE SO GOD-DAMN HYPOCRITCAL!" Black finished with a scream, breathing heavily.

Blue blinked, face still with shock. "Damn."

The Genwunners all gave each other terrified glances, not exactly sure how to respond to that.

Black inhaled, getting ready for another, long winded, fury fueled speech.

"Oh crap," Ruby hid behind the sparkly pink scarf he had been sewing, "There's more!"

"Woah woah woah woah!" White held out her arms, shaking her head with a disapproving scowl. "No, Black, bad. Don't you think that's enough for know?"

"Shut it!" He growled. "I'm tired of this! There's no way I can take going through all the pain, and humiliation that we're constantly having to put up with!"

"I know, I feel the same way," She confirmed. "But I think you might be just taking this a little too far."

"A little?" Blue scoffed.

"Quiet, Spikey."

"..._Spikey?!" _

"Actually, I don't think I've gone far enough," Black grinned, removing the Muk from the board to reveal what was underneath. Again, it was simply another image of a generation one Pokemon, only this one was a Voltorb instead of the unholy abomination that was seen before (which, by the way, I totally ship with Gold.)

White slowly brought her hand to her face in a type of face-palm.

"Why?" She muttered.

"Now," Black grinned, pointing at the ball Pokemon. "Can anyone tell me what this looks like?"

"A... Voltorb?" Ruby suggested from the back.

"Ruby, I swear to god I'm gonna-!"

"DAT ISZ A FANTASFIC POJEMAS!?(4,? :5.().gagas6/g/)/).))a)/)Sahel:$hszhhdhd:)shush:$sah!" Hctib, another spazmatic Genwunner gurgled, looking extreamly wasted. "I LIEK ROSESESE... HEHEH?,(,..."

"Look Black," Blue spoke up. "I know what you're trying to say, that Voltorb isn't exactly the most original thing on the face of the earth, and, to an extent, I agree with you, but doesn't gen.5 have a mushroom that looks like a Pokèball?"

"Blue?"

"What?"

"Kindly piss off." Black growled, glaring at him.

"...That's you're comeback?"

"I will show the world your closet full of stolen bra straps if you don't go screw yourself." Black threatened, voice rising slightly.

Blue's face paled. "I'm leaving."

Without glancing back, the spiky haired trainer quickly made his way over to the door White was guarding, only to have it quickly open up and smash the two of them into a nearby wall.

"Well... Oww..." White muttered, feeling her hand bone insert itself into her back.

"I'll ship it," Ruby shrugged, taking a few pictures.

"Screw... You..." Blue rasped

Black spun around, letting out a loud growl of pure irritation. "What the hell do you want you stupid peice of... Umm..." He trailed off, turning a bit white at the sight of the person at the door. "Oh, uh, HI Red! How... How are you today?"

Red slowly walked into the room, his black hair thrown across his face in a messy fashion, crimson eyes narrowed as he scowled down upon everyone in the room, but mostly Ruby, because c'mon, he has a GROUND type that he doesn't want to get DIRTY.

Logic.

"Black," He hissed, looking infuriated. "You PROMISED me, that if I were to round up ALL the Genwunner's, you'd get me a sugar-coated Charmander." He twitched a little at the last few words. "I spent HOURS on FourChan, now where the hell is it?!"

All eyes fell on Black, wide with expectation.

"...Uh." He blinked. Thinking quickly, he ran over to a nearby table and grabbed the small red and white Pokèball that sat on it, hastily throwing it in the air. "Chuck Norris, I chose you!" He screeched.

The ball open up to reveal a bright flash of light, nearly blinding everyone in the room, and there stood, the legend himself, the creator of everything, the only person who can even have water fear him, the master of the w-

"We get it! Move on!" Ruby yelled.

Dick.

It was...

Billy Mays.

...

...

...

No, but seriously. Black somehow caught Chuck Norris.

"DATEC ISK A UNORGINAL POFEKAN!11!1" Epiwssa, another Pokè troll, screamed at the top of her lungs, pointing to the godly hunk of man.

"Chuck Norris does not know the meaning of "unoriginal", because the word ceases to exit when it is in his presence." Chuck Norris Chuck Norrised.

"Yeeeah, this is going to get old quick." White muttered.

"Chuck Norris..." Red hissed, balling his fist. "We meet again."

"Really? I thought we were just celebrating your funeral." He smirked. "Ready to die?"

"I'm Red." He was reminded.

"And I'm Chuck Norris."

"No shit."

Chuck Norris lowered his gaze. "Chuck Norris will not take that comment lightly."

White lowered her head. She could run away, she could run away and nobody could ever stop her, and yet, she was stuck in here, watching THIS. She didn't even know how to describe it. It was just THIS.

Red's scarlet eyes flashed with cruel confidence. "Chuck Norris is afaid to meet my eyes."

"Uh, no." The legend mumbled, not looking up. "Chuck Norris just finds the ground really interesting."

"Chuck Norris is lying."

"...No he isn't!"

Red looked about ready to comment, before shaking his head. "Nevermind, let's get down to business, right here, right now."

**WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! **

**Will Black regain his sanity? Will Ruby ever finish his scarf? Will I be able to ever stay on topic? **

**... **

**Oh hey look, a butterfly! **

**Also, who will win? Red or Chuck Norris? And does anyone actually care? **

**...No... **

**~*FYAH-TO-DA-GALE!~***


End file.
